he loves me, no?

I've been trying to remain aloof about our current affair, but the evidence of our affection is often damning. I missed him while I was away, even when I really tried not to feel any emotion about breaking our routine.

I'm worried that my insecurities forbid me from believing in, seeing through, or even imagining what might (or might not) be happening. Am I confident enough to accept what I want? Will my feigned disinterest drive him away? I hate when fear runs into the space of my imagination.