gentle sighs of disbelief

someone at work today asked me if i was going to get married. now some of you know that a long time ago i would have gotten married, but then again back then i was a dumbass that not only ruined my life but the lives of those around me with every blind turn i made. but when it comes to now i can't really say for sure either way.

i guess i could say that i'll wait til it's legal but that would be just a cop out. call me brangelina or something and throw me on a pink website with cum dripping out of my mouth. it's not something that i have really thought about since all the way back then, and now everything is so different. i'm older, but that's a given. i would like to say i'm wiser but maybe i should just say that i'm more experienced. but that is a decision i wouldn't even be prepared to make even if i was a little more traditional.

in an earlier post i mentioned my wife. it was a joke done for his sake mostly but my co-worker asking me that question today sort of made me think. am i ready to make that committment? am i ready to be with someone for the rest of my life? and i honestly don't know. unfortunately most gay men rarely ever confront that question, and i think that more should. sure, there are a mulititude of couples screaming out right now for equal rights and all that nonsense, but what is a marriage but an antiquated custom? at the heart of it really is a simple public announcement of two people that enjoy spending time together solidifiying that emotional contract.

and thinking more, i can almost agree with the religous right's claim that the gay's are trying to ruin marriage. i know. bad fag. but it might be a good thing. we strip down all marriage whether it be gay or straight and take away all governmental priveledges that have been assigned to a mostly religous tradition and bring it back to the simplistic ceremony it started as 1000's of years ago . maybe that's what we should be fighting for, true equality outside of the law, not just within it. equality of souls, not just the bodies they reside within. the reason why this is even plausible is that, in reality, we need to change our paradigm, not just some laws, in order to acheive any sense of equality or understanding.