barbed wire and bruises

there was this guy i knew a few years ago. he was 20 when i met him. he was one of those guys that would go to the club and walk around with a judgemental glare and an air of unwarranted superiority. his friends were selected from the pretty, from the popular, from whatever his mind had designated as the elite, as elite as a bunch of gay drunks could manage.

i don't want to use his name. if i did i might get lynched. that should be clue enough as to who he is.

**** was not innocent. people think that he was. the thought that went through his mind every night he went to the club was something around the neighborhood of who can stick the biggest dick in my ass tonight that hasn't done it already. he was the epitome of the slutty twink you see in movies and tv shows, the one with the daddy issues and the loose sphincter. most of the guys he would end up with were in their late 20s and early 30s, decently well off and had issues of their own to deal with. **** would spend his weekends with them and never speak to them again, and in some way that fulfilled both their needs albeit in a temporary manner.

i met him the first time about a year before many of you did. on the internet. the only reason we didn't meet in person was that he lived about 100 miles away, and lets just say that the visit would have been more than friendly or at least those were the intentions. a few months later we did meet in person, and i turned out to be too young for him. that was ok.. i normally don't go for guys that look like they never hit puberty either. that's when i noticed his m.o. so to speak.

he never talked to me again. oh sure he talked about me, about that pathetic guy that thought that i could actually hook up with someone like him, about the size of my manhood even though he hadn't seen it, about the horrible things that i had done to friends of his i had never met. and it turns out that i was not the only one who got this treatment. it was far worse for the guys that went farther.

without knowing this persons name, it sounds like the type of guy that most of us tend to avoid now that we are older and wiser. but now, these are the things that you never hear about this guy. he now has become a celibate philanthropist, an icon and a veritable saint.

i was supposed to be the saint.

on this day of ghosts, i'd like to take this time to say fuck you to one. thanks for your hatred. it made me the thing i am today.