there was this guy i knew a few years ago. he was 20 when i met him. he was one of those guys that would go to the club and walk around with a judgemental glare and an air of unwarranted superiority. his friends were selected from the pretty, from the popular, from whatever his mind had designated as the elite, as elite as a bunch of gay drunks could manage.
i don't want to use his name. if i did i might get lynched. that should be clue enough as to who he is.
**** was not innocent. people think that he was. the thought that went through his mind every night he went to the club was something around the neighborhood of who can stick the biggest dick in my ass tonight that hasn't done it already. he was the epitome of the slutty twink you see in movies and tv shows, the one with the daddy issues and the loose sphincter. most of the guys he would end up with were in their late 20s and early 30s, decently well off and had issues of their own to deal with. **** would spend his weekends with them and never speak to them again, and in some way that fulfilled both their needs albeit in a temporary manner.
i met him the first time about a year before many of you did. on the internet. the only reason we didn't meet in person was that he lived about 100 miles away, and lets just say that the visit would have been more than friendly or at least those were the intentions. a few months later we did meet in person, and i turned out to be too young for him. that was ok.. i normally don't go for guys that look like they never hit puberty either. that's when i noticed his m.o. so to speak.
he never talked to me again. oh sure he talked about me, about that pathetic guy that thought that i could actually hook up with someone like him, about the size of my manhood even though he hadn't seen it, about the horrible things that i had done to friends of his i had never met. and it turns out that i was not the only one who got this treatment. it was far worse for the guys that went farther.
without knowing this persons name, it sounds like the type of guy that most of us tend to avoid now that we are older and wiser. but now, these are the things that you never hear about this guy. he now has become a celibate philanthropist, an icon and a veritable saint.
i was supposed to be the saint.
on this day of ghosts, i'd like to take this time to say fuck you to one. thanks for your hatred. it made me the thing i am today.
10/31/2007
barbed wire and bruises
10/26/2007
Straight Boys & Gay Sex
Straight Boys & Gay Sex
"Of course, people said that the factory was degenerate just because 'anything went' there, but I think that was a very good thing. As one straight kid said to me, 'It's nice not to be trapped into something, even if that's what you are.' For example, if a man sees two guys having sex, he finds out one of two things: Either he's turned on or turned off - so then he knows where he stands in life. I think people should see absolutely everything and then decide for themselves - not let other people decide for them."
- Andy Warhol
FOUND (LINK)
10/19/2007
jack
i use stereotypes and i'm not proud, but i do accept my faults.
i wish that there weren't stereotypes in any community, least of all ours. but its a prevalent practice for gay boys to fall into a category. we throw around words not realizing that we hold a molotov cocktail of messy.
bear, otter, twink, hunk, jock, daddy, cub, bitch, butch, dyke, queen, cowboy, bottom, top.
he. she.
i remember in a middle school civics class that there were two theories of a culturally mixed society, that of the salad bowl and that of the melting pot. the salad coexisted, but didn't adhere much to each other with a separate but equal stance. the melting pot had a remembrance of heritage but an unspoken equality that ignored it. we are a long way from the melting pot.
so i look forward to halloween. strange transition you may say.
i call halloween gay christmas. think about it. what other day can you celebrate creativity and diversity without stigma or distinction? at public gatherings of people of different races, creeds, colors, genders, and cultural bias get together and forget themselves behind masks and make up and imagination.
that is when we become the melting pot. only when we are truly outside ourselves can we truly accept each other.
10/17/2007
The Phallic Threat
The Phallic Threat: Giant Penises and Similar Threat Devices
No other anatomical structure shows the behavioral crosscurrents between sex and status more clearly than the genitalia. One might think that the primary copulatory organs would be used only in displays of copulatory attraction, when in fact they are intimately linked to the biological signals of social status. In these next two chapters we can look at how genitalia are used in social interactions and how these uses have, in turn, changed the appearances of the genitalia.
[continue reading...]
10/16/2007
10/15/2007
10/10/2007
roommate
Michael invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome Michael's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Michael and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Michael and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Michael volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Jason and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Jason came to Michael and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle," said Jason. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?".
"Well," said Michael, "I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jason, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jason. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
borrowed from wimp.com with some minor adjustments.
10/06/2007
10/02/2007
Cazwell
Yes, that Cazwell.
Buy it, listen to it, love it.
Youtube links:
[1] I buy my socks on 14th st.
[2] Watch my mouth.
[3] Do you wanna beeak up?
[4] All over your face.
Gritty nasty hip hop fags.
Hott.
Links:
[1] MySpace
[2] WWW
[3] I-Tunes